Tag Archives: S.J. Tucker

Happy Holidays

It is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and oddly enough the day after my birthday. I present two little tidbits here. The first is a lovely song by S.J. Tucker titled “Solstice Night”. The second is a short and somewhat grisly bulletin from the front lines of the War Against Christmas.

I wish you Peaceful Holidays and a good laugh in the dark.

CHRISTMAS GOING SOUTH

Josef Matulich

Jingles the elf staggered away from the burning stables with Dasher and Cupid in tow. Behind them, the Secularist Militias and JW Seals fell to their butcher’s work until there was nothing left of the workshop compound but burnt meat and broken toys. As the elf and reindeer headed south across the open snow field, Santa escaped in the opposite south. Everything goes south when you live smack-dab on the North Pole and men with guns show up. The Jolly Old Elf fled on two caribou and a prayer and what looked like a sucking chest wound.
Santa was headed Reykjavik South, where he had been promised asylum, while Jingles followed a Novaya Zemlya South heading. That way led to ice pressure ridges a hundred yards out which would at least provide concealment until nightfall.
The reindeer bucked and pulled at the elf’s grasp on their bridles. The fire, noise and smoke had put them in a panic. It was practically impossible for the three-foot tall Jingles to drag them in a straight line to safety.
Atheist FSM air cover swept over the refugees on a strafing run. Bullets chewed up the snow and ice in parallel rows of destruction. One of those cut across Dasher’s mid-section. The reindeer went down as if broken in half. Jingles stopped to aid the flailing animal, but he broke and ran when he saw a detachment of commandos dashing their way with weapons blazing.
Cupid and he barely made it over the first ice ridge when the bullets started winging over their heads. They clambered down the fragile slope and were at a flat run through the fissures at the bottom.
“Happy holidays, bitch!” Somebody yelled at them from the heights above and behind even as a fragmentation grenade fell at the elf’s feet. He only had a moment to think to himself that this year the War Against Christmas was Hell.

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Filed under Silly stuff, Writer stuff