Tag Archives: Arcanum Faire

Sex, Magick & … WTF CBS?

Good thing I started doubling up on my antidepressants this week.

I was on Twitter, as I am often wont to do when there are more productive things to do in the morning, when I came across an advert for the latest project appearing on CBS All Access. It was “Strange Angel”, the partially true story of the founder of JPL and follower of Aleister Crowley (just as Jeremiah Stone is in Arcanum Faire). Okay, sounds frothy and fun and things will most likely blow up good in the end.

But the tag line they used in the trailer…

“Sex, Magick, and Rocket Science”?

For my dozens of fans out there, this is a recognizable phrase. I have been describing the Arcanum Faire books as “A comedy of Sex, Magick, and Power Tools” for five years, now. And it’s not like it is only written on the underside of a rock in a sugar beet field in Elk Grove CA. You can find it here:

https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/122949

and here:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25217904-power-tools-in-the-sacred-grove

and even here:

It’s quite possible that the bright young person responsible, because they’re all bright and young in Hollywood PR, came across my tagline and said “Hey, what a great idea! I’m sure that Matlick guy will be flattered if we copy it!” Consider the ten-thousand variations of “Where’s the Beef?”

Well, I’m irritated, but realistic about it. You can’t really copyright a tagline, though with some effort and cash you can trademark it. And even if there was legal recourse, CBS has enough lawyers to beat a Mastadon to death with teaspoons. There’s not much I can do but fill the cybersphere with my own hashtags to slipstream the wake of this well-funded vessel. So here we go:

#SexMagick&PowerTools

#ArcanumFaire

Care to join me?

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What Kirkus says about my book:

I got Kirkus to take a look at the final volume of my Arcanum Faire trilogy, The Ren Faire at the End of the World. I am proud to say they liked it. I think you’ll like it, too.

 

KIRKUS REVIEW

In this final installment of a comical trilogy, a contractor faces zombies and other obstacles while trying to build a Renaissance faire.

Marc Sindri is constructing a permanent Renaissance faire in Arcanum, Ohio. Marc may be a skilled contractor, but his current assignment is anything but easy. To say that the work site has been awash with witchcraft, sex, and conflicting personalities would be an understatement. Book 3 begins in February, and with the planned opening of the faire in May, time is rapidly working against Marc. His first hurdle comes in the form of an angry phone call from one Jeremiah Stone II, who wants to know who stole his son’s body from the family mausoleum. Marc was certainly no friend of the caller’s son (also named Jeremiah), but he has nothing to do with the missing corpse. Marc soon finds himself fighting a reanimated version of the deceased in order to save his beautiful girlfriend, the witch Brenwyn. But this battle is merely the beginning of Marc’s struggles against the undead, as the area around the faire is infested with zombie rabbits and other unsettling creatures. Then there is the foreboding moment when, during a ritual between Marc and Brenwyn, it is predicted that the faire’s opening will be disastrous. Marc and his cohorts see themselves through their trials with abundant sexual innuendoes (one woman smiles at the idea of being “well-drilled”) and occasional wordplay (a character named Eleazer remarks: “I do not have a jealous bone in my body, milady, not even a bit of envious cartilage”). The result is a story that is more zany than clever, albeit with enough action to keep the wackiness from becoming dull. Whether it is naked witches performing a ritual or humans slashing at zombie animals, something is always happening. Readers may question certain details in Matulich’s (Power Tools in the Sacred Grove, 2015, etc.) novel, such as how Eleazer, who is supposedly successful at seducing women and uses terms like “milady” constantly, can talk to anyone without getting a good thrashing. But whether or not the faire comes together as a great success or failure, there is excitement in finding out how all the dust (and blood and amulets) will settle.

While unapologetically over-the-top, this supernatural tale maintains a fervent, magical pace.

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A bouncy little minute…

I don’t think book trailers are absolutely necessary for a book’s success, but it is one tool in the kit. They aren’t worth the fees some production houses are asking, though. This afternoon, I created a video on my PC. Here it is. Try not to panic.

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The Time of Sex, Magick, and Power Tools is Ending

My third book in the Arcanum Faire trilogy, The Ren Faire at the End of the World, is now live as an ebook on Amazon. Other venues to activate shortly. You can see at the link below.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077MG44CZ

It is a little sad to leave the town of Arcanum, OH and its whacko inhabitants after over a decade. but there are new adventures to chronicle. I am nearly done with my tale of the Squirrel Apocalypse. After that, I attack my non-eurocentric steampunk series.

For those of you who are Netgalley accredited reviewers, the second book of Arcanum Faire, Power Tools in the Sacred Grove, is available for request/download. With luck I will be able to upload RFEW to be available December 1.

https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/125017

 

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There is no punchline

We are just days away from the release of “Ren Faire at the End of the World”, the third book of my Arcanum Faire trilogy. It will be November 28th for the trade paperback edition and November 21st for the ebook. Dread Central will be hosting a cover reveal on their site between now and then. This link will be live as of 11/16/17 at 09:30 PT:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/?p=260529

Until the 28th, I have a little taste of the opening of RFEW to pique your interest. As always, watch the bushes and keep a shovel handy at all times.

 

THE THREE LURKERS

A paparazzi, an OSHA inspector, and a Vatican priest hunkered down behind the bushes outside Camp Arcanum.

Unfortunately, there is no punchline to this story, Jeff Lazarro thought as he knelt in the ice-cold mud. Ms. Snowden, the disgraced OSHA inspector with a face like a weasel sucking a lemon, squatted just behind him. Her pale wool coat matched her short platinum blonde hair, which fortunately blended into the drifts of snow behind them. Monsignor Valcarcel, on Jeff’s other side, wore a navy pea coat over his black priest’s cassock. Only the white tab of the rugged old man’s color and his ruddy nose gave him away as anything other than a tree stump.

All Jeff wanted was some nice juicy pictures. With the trifecta of Sex, Suicide, and Satanism following Jeremiah Stone’s death, demand had pushed prices into the stratosphere. Marc Sindri had cost Jeff his next boat payment when he had caught Jeff and erased the card that held a few dozen images of a New Year’s Day co-ed fistfight just outside these three Airstream trailers

Snowden’s mission in life was to prove that either monsters were real and lurking on the grounds of the renaissance faire or that Sindri had rigged the whole thing as a prank to scuttle her workplace inspection. Sometimes, she speculated that he had maybe hired the monsters. Also, she wanted her clipboard back.

The priest, when he spoke, warned of a threat to souls of all involved in black magic and New Age heresy at this renaissance faire. Having Valcarcel tag along gave Jeff the same guilty feeling he got after admitting to his dentist he’d forgotten to floss, but their resources together were far better than lurking in separate bushes…

Valcarcel took a sip of his fortified coffee and pulled down a branch to get a clear view of the old barn, gravel track, and trailers that made up Camp Arcanum.

“You know,” the old priest muttered, “I would give my left nut to know what’s going on in that trailer right now.”

Jeff didn’t know what use a celibate priest might have for his testicles, but his feelings were pretty much the same.

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Don’t buy my book. Yet.

All the files for “Ren Faire at the End of the World” are complete and in the hands of the publisher. The release date will be sometime before the end of the year. We have a quick turnaround here at Post Mortem Press. To prepare for the completion of the Arcanum Faire, I’ve already put in applications at Ohioana Book Fair and other events like Confusion for next year.

Though RFEW was written to stand up on its own, you get all the jokes and twisting arcs if you read all three.

The first two books, “Camp Arcanum” & “Power Tools in Sacred Grove”, are also up for review on Net Galley. CA will be available until Oct. 30th. Boo. PTSG starts its 30 day on November 1st.  REFW will be sometime after that, most likely Dec. 1st. If you are a credentialed book reviewer and you haven’t read either, please stop by and request a file for download.

Keep your eyes here as I make arrangements for a cover release and other promotional skullduggery.

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See Me in Circleville

I know this is short notice, folks; it requires wit, discipline, and lung capacity to get back under the horse. Be that as it may, I will be joining other local Ohio authors in the Author’s Alley adjoining Keystone Books & Gifts today.

Along with both of my books, I will have news of my third. Stop by if you’re in Southern Ohio.

 

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Time to Get Back Under the Horse

Michael handed the knives back to Eleazar.

“I think I’ll wait on that second throw.”

Eleazar refused to accept the proffered blades.

“Don’t be discouraged, man.”

Eleazar pushed him back to the firing line.

“You’ve got to suck it up and face your fears,” Eleazar urged. “When you get trampled by a horse, you have to dust yourself off and get right back under it.”

Michael looked at him in dismay. Eleazar shrugged.

“I got that from my Uncle Albert,” said Eleazar. “He took his own advice a little too often.”

– Camp Arcanum

 

I have not been up to the madness of the convention circuit and general self promotion, but now I have finished the third book of my Arcanum Faire and recovered from last year’s pnuemonia. So, with a new book under my arm, I have made plans to promote the crap out of myself. I promised to clean up afterwards.

Next Saturday, I will be in Circleville at Keystone Books & Gifts’ first Author Alley event. Stop by between 9 am and 3 pm to see me and other Central Ohio authors.

https://keystonebooksandgifts.com/happening/author-alley-at-keystone-books/

I will also be a guest at Imaginarium down in Lexington KY on the first weekend of October. Unsure what they will have me talking about, but there is always some way for me to embarrass myself.

http://www.entertheimaginarium.com/

There are other things on the horizon which are less than definite. I hope to be able to slip in under the radar of the Ohioana Book Festival’s radar in April and we have plans for a Book launch party at The Alley and an event at the Book Loft. Those last two will depend on the final release date for “Ren Faire at the End of the World.” If you want to nag my publisher to finalize that, feel free. I promised him that I’d stop.

There are other opportunities within a day’s drive of beautiful downtown Riverlea, but I am always open for more. Any of you people connected with conventions, as con-com or attendee, that believe I might be a good fit as a panelist or bad example, please feel free to throw me under the horse.

authorjosefmatulich AT gmail DOT com

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The Vague Book

I am almost finished with Book Three of my Arcanum Faire trilogy, something I have been working on for the last two years. If there is going to be any catalog of work left when I go paws to Jesus, I’ve got to turn things out faster than that.

As an exercise in speed, hopefully without sacrificing quality, I am taking a fallow screenplay project and turning it into a novella. I won’t tell you which of my old stories, but it was one that I abandoned when a big name director made a pitch trailer for essentially the same film. He has done nothing with it since then, but I am moving on.

The plan is to have it written, re-written, and formatted for self-publication within three months. This should provide a glowing sense of achievement and another item for sale at event tables by Halloween.

In the first two days, in spite of three trips downtown to the Pride Festival and Father’s Day activities, I was able to lay down the first chapter. A whopping eight-hundred words, but eight-hundred more than I had on Friday.

Keep your eyes on this space for news of my progress.

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And there was great rejoicing.

Slowed by pneumonia, lung issues, family issues, cowardice, and sloth, I have finally finished the third book of the Arcanum Faire Trilogy.  Two years after the release of the second book, and maybe two and a half decades after the original conception, seems like a long time. In the words of the great Ian Malcolm: “Must write faster!”

Or something like that.

Book Three has all the sex, magick, and power tools of its predecessors with additional miraculous healings, shovel-wielding, Bobcat wheeling, brightly colored pike tercios, jousters, meat puppets, a dead black chicken, and two raging queens. Of course, I will do some truly terrible things to Eleazar and his beloved Toolcat Theodora.

Naturally, neither Marc Sindri or Brenwyn come out of this unscathed.

Anyway, in spite of my concerns of it actually being too long, the manuscript has come in under four-hundred pages with room to cut out more if absolutely necessary. It is off to my beta/gamma reader and a final sweep before sending it off to my publisher, Post Mortem Press.  My working title has been “The Beltane Faire”, but that is a limp and nondescriptive title compare to “Camp Arcanum” and “Power Tools in the Sacred Grove.” I may use “The Ren Faire at the End of the World” if we can fit all of that on the cover. Any better suggestions will be appreciated and stolen.

Watch this space for further developments.

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