Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Curse of the Electronic Keyfob

If someone were a writer of paranormal stories, you would think there was at least a little something paranormal about them. However, I stopped seeing ghosts at eight or nine, like most people. I dabbled in herbalism for a while, but nowadays that has devolved into a membership to the Teavana tea of the month club.

The most supernatural thing about my life anymore is that I stop watches.

My mother did this, too. With our overactive magnetic fields, we were the people that anti-magnetic watches were designed for. Or disposable digital watches, which we could wear until the display started permanently blinking “5:45”. I’ve randomized video games in arcades and fried the mother board on my laptop when I’ve become over-excited. My influence also effects the electronic keyfobs for our cars.

My car now randomly locks and unlocks itself, honking at me like a cat wanting to be let in from the cold. There are times when it will relock itself as I reach for the door handling. I’ve learned to be smarter than it and always leave the door wide open while the keys are in the ignition.

Unfortunately, the keyfob to my wife’s Charger also acts up. Occasionally, it will lock and unlock when I am in range, flashing its lights like the angry black, beast it is. Also, the automatic trunk release will sometimes go off. “In range” from her spot in the garage happens to be our kitchen or the back bedroom upstairs. If you can’t hear the plaintive beep of the horn, you can still see its lights blink through the side window of the detached garage.

Earlier this week, I evidently set off the trunk release early in the evening. The car sat in the frigid garage with its trunk light on throughout the night. By the next morning, the battery was dead.

Yes, I discharged my wife’s Charger.

Much pushing and jumping and battery-purchasing later, she was back on the road to The Alley, but she was not happy with me or life.

I’ve started leaving my keys in a bowl by the door, away from aura. We’ll see how that works out for us.

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