You may think that screenwriting is an involved and serious undertaking, but not with the new SyFy© Original Movie template. Just fill in the answers based on your own information and you will have the plot outline for the next direct-to-cable blockbuster.
First you will need a title. Almost all SyFy© Original Movies have two word titles made up of two great words that are even scarier together. The whole “vs” slate of films is an exception that will be saved for the advanced class.
Title Part 1: First letter of your first name:
G: -Nado (put after Part 2, as in “Shark-Nado”)
K: – Wars (put after Part 2, as in “Dragon Wars” )
M: -Ageddon (put after part 2, as in “Squid-Ageddon”)
Z: Big Ass
Title Part 2: The first letter of your last name. (What will be menacing your heroes)
A(n) (Lone Expert) discovers the problem with (Title Part 2) but his/her findings are suppressed by the authorities for their own selfish reasons.
Lone Expert: Month you were born:
January: Street Savvy Cop
February: Defrocked Priest
March: Brilliant Scientist
April: International Spy
May: Stateless Mercenary
June: Hardened Ex-con
July: Eccentric Hacker
September: Animal Wrangler
October: Master of the Occult
November: Decorated War Hero
December: Ambitious Journalist
(Location) is threatened by the presence of (Title Part 2).
Location: The date you were born:
1: A sleepy desert town
2: A sprawling metropolis
3: A traveling carnival
4: A general store in Appalachia
5: A spaceship crash site outside town
6: A public beach
7: A tropical resort
8: The sewers beneath the city
9: A high-rise office tower
10: A suburban shopping mall
11: A derelict freighter
12: A housing estate built on a Native burial ground
13: A remote military base
14: The harbor of a sleepy fishing village
15: A quiet native village
16: An abandoned hotel
17: An isolated farm
18: A cave
19: A distant planet
20: An abandoned amusement park
21: A cabin in the woods
22: An arctic research post.
23: A plague-infested wasteland
24: A supposedly haunted house
25: A nuclear test site
26: A prison
27: Hoboken, NJ
28: The whole goddam world
29: The deep woods
30: An underground bunker
31: The White House
And a (group of Clueless Victims) are endangered there.
Clueless Victims: The month you were born:
January: dozens of drunken college students
February: unit of highly trained commandos
March: half-dozen bikini models
April: trio of meddling kids and their dog
May: class of grade school students on a field trip
June: reality TV cast and crew
July: harried bunch of refugees
August: married couple with relationship issues
September: pack of gamers and sci-fi fans
October: dysfunctional family
November: local TV news crew
December: team of X-games/Parkour athletes
The (Clueless Victims) attempt to flee, in part aided by (Cannon Fodder)’s heroic act of sacrifice.
Cannon Fodder: the month your father was born:
January: originally creepy homeless guy
February: dedicated civil servant
March: hero’s best friend
April: dying Grandma/Grandpa
May: frag-worthy lieutenant
June: secretly sensitive jock
July: greedy developer
August: misguided scientist
September: corrupt government official
October: girl all the boys wanted
November: Sean Bean
December: the Marine with just two weeks left to serve
The (Lone Expert) comes up with a brilliant plan using (Outlandish Plot Device). The (Full Title) are defeated and the world is saved in two hours of broadcast time.
Outlandish Plot Device: The month your mother was born
January: an exorcism ritual from an ancient text
February: a chainsaw
March: a nuclear self-destruct device
April: an improvised explosive
May: a magic spell
June: a booby trap made from all-natural materials
July: a pit of burning oil/guano/sheep flatulence
August: a high voltage electrocution device
September: an equally dangerous monster
October: a huge amount of toxic household chemicals
November: an uploaded cyber virus
December: a Swiss army knife, a cheese log and a paper clip
As an example, my SyFy© Original Movie ended up like this:
An Ambitious Journalist discovers the problem with Hamsters but his/her findings are suppressed by the authorities for their own selfish reasons.
An abandoned amusement park is threatened by the presence of Hamsters.
And a team of X-games/Parkour athletes are endangered there.
The team of X-games/Parkour athletes attempt to flee, in part aided by Sean Bean’s heroic act of sacrifice.
The Ambitious Journalist comes up with a brilliant plan using a pit of burning oil/guano/sheep flatulence. The Ghost Hamsters are defeated and the world is saved in two hours of broadcast time.
Though this is all meant to be parody, your information may actually produce a story you have seen on the SyFy© Channel. I’m really, really sorry about that.
If you share this, and I am encouraging you to do so, please remember to include “written by Josef Matulich at dalmatianalley.wordpress.com or Josef Matulich – guy who writes funny/scary stuff on Facebook”. That way I might get the recognition for my hours of labor and the Asylum and the SyFy© Channel will know where to send the pack of ravening Ghost Hamsters once they raise them from Hell.